This leaves me speechless. Priceless. Hilarious.

Thanks Gill ["Smart Remarks" column, Nov. 25]. I'm glad sumbody finely figgered out why theres so many dum hillbillys here in Lankaster County. I allways thot it was becuz of all the manure vapors in the air evry summer rottin kids branes, but it turns out its becuz folks here ain't never lived in a big city. Like you said, we shud make folks live in a big city for a spell so's they kin get enlightened like you. Course, cents we've allways knowed that you kin run a car on corn liquor, I guess there's sumpthin you citified folk have lernt frum us!

-Scott Taylor, backwoods of Millersville